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Most of us have noticed that our mood and disposition improve around some people, and plummet around others. We tend to say that some people have “good energy,” while others do not. However, whether we feel uplifted or drained by particular interactions depends largely on our ability to manage our interactions.

As children, we connect energetically to our parents in order to feel safe by accessing their wisdom. Because our primary relationship expresses this common configuration, we can come to conflate feeling safe, relating, and connecting to one another. Simply put, we may decide as infants that the way to relate to one another is to connect energetically, and that this connection is the basis of our physical safety. For adults, however, feeling safe, relating and connecting can be independent activities.

When we connect to others, we mix some of our energy with that of the person with whom we are connecting. This mixing creates a bond. While it can be fun for limited periods of time, ultimately, having one’s own energy in one’s body feels the most refreshing.

As we grow, we learn to find safety in our ability to access and express our own information. Once we feel safe in the world, we can choose whether, when and how we relate to others. If we decide to develop relationships, we recognize that connecting is but one way to interact with another.

While becoming more conscious about how we interact with others, we develop several ways to relate. This process of relating consciously enables us to tease apart the association between feeling safe, connecting, and relating. In turn, this awareness allows us to increase our options for responding to any given situation, which expands our ability to manage our interactions with increased grace and ease.

We can notice where and when we feel trapped while interacting with someone who adversely affects our disposition. Are we connecting to that person, when, perhaps, we would rather choose a different way of relating? I recommend that we each develop a repertoire of interaction strategies, which begins with awareness and ends with peace.

Open space to express yourself in your interactions!

Written by Heidi Szycher, a staff member at the Boulder Psychic Institute. Check out her personal site at

Love & Relationships

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