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Healer Doldrums

Often when we are introduced to energy work, we are enthusiastic and grateful to have found a mechanism for self-understanding and -healing. Healers are thrilled to read energy, clear blocks, and explore spirit. Healing work allows people to release the old, come into present time, and create intentions to move forward. However, as healers progress in their capabilities, sometimes they reach what seems to be an impasse. It can be experienced as meaninglessness, angst, or depression. Why would healers become distraught?

Let us consider one common reason that healers may feel amiss. Most of us arrive in the world with old karma and new family agreements (which can include old karma). We have our paths defined by the projects of clearing karma and completing agreements. Our spiritual to-do lists promise to encompass the entire time allotted for our lives. Value and meaning come from playing out these programs in order to clear the slate. Each next step is obvious; we must handle what is in front of us by continuing to clear karma and complete agreements.

But psychic training and energy work increase the speed at which we can complete our tasks. This practice also keeps us from accumulating more spiritual clutter along the way. We learn to move quickly through things that once seemed impossible, opening up time and space for self-exploration. We resolve enough karma and agreements to create our dreams. What a gift!

Many of us, though, are not used to having extra time and space, and our dreams may be ill-defined. We have been so accustomed to doing the things we have to do (and for being validated for doing those things) that we are not accustomed to choosing what we want to do. At this moment, we are no longer being pushed along our spiritual paths by karma and agreements.

When this happens, we encounter the space to fully be ourselves as well as to create ourselves. Although in the larger picture it is a cause for celebration, this moment seems to be the exact point that many healers experience doldrums. Our former sources of meaning and purpose no longer exist. The experience of not having a ready-made next step simultaneously can be empty and terrifying for those who approach it unprepared. How daunting! If we have confined our sense of meaning and purpose to clearing karma and completing agreements, then, when we have taken care of our spiritual housekeeping, we may conclude that life is meaningless, and has nothing more to offer. We find ourselves at a loss of how to proceed. We have been driven by the desire to clear karma and fulfill agreements, and we have done (enough of) that. We may find ourselves at a loss.

Now, the mechanism for advancement has changed! We must generate our next step rather than having our next step appear. We no longer simply complete karma and agreements to move forward: we must create. What do we wish to do with our newfound time and space? Suddenly, we must decide what is valuable and meaningful, as well as how to proceed.

As we carve out the space to create our lives in ways that suit us, we learn how new it is for us to live our dreams. The trickiest part is to define what we want. What are we willing to commit our lives to? Once we know what we wish to devote our talents to advancing, we can move forward. Through our dedication, we provide and generate the meaning in our lives. (Until we make a creative commitment, we will remain in the fallowness that gave rise to our doldrums.) When we commit our lives to a chosen endeavor, that endeavor becomes our North Star, providing us with a guiding light. Instead of being pushed by the karma and agreements with which we entered our lives, we are pulled by the vision of our dreams. At this point, our chosen dreams provide us with meaning and purpose as they propel us forward.

If you are a healer who has recently dropped into a profound state of not-knowing, congratulations! It is time to show the world who you are!

Create the life of your dreams!

Written by Heidi Szycher, a staff member at the Boulder Psychic Institute. Check out her personal site at

Emotions & Self-Care, Student Life


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