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Blaming or Healing: Your Choice

“The world is unjust.” “My neighbor is a jerk.” “My parents never loved me.” “People have treated me poorly.” Okay. Regardless of whether our views are accurate, we all have soft spots in which we feel wounded. Given our common humanity, how do we relate to our wounds?

A wound is a festering internalization of invalidation. At some level, we have taken on the slight. As long as we prioritize blaming others for the challenges we face, we are controlled by the invalidation. (This is why the people who kick and scream rarely affect lasting change— beyond, perhaps, isolating themselves— while those who process through the slings and arrows along their paths accomplish great feats.) And, this is also why we each must choose whether we will act from blame or embark on healing.

Wounding is peculiar because, in spirit, we remain whole, radiant, and unscathed. While this spiritual understanding is essential to healing, it is easy to see the pitfalls of denying our wounds in favor of only acknowledging our beautiful spiritual selves. If exclusively identifying with spirit is not healing, what is?

True healing requires a willingness to look squarely at our human wounds— and, often to feel them. Our spiritual truths can provide the strength necessary to face our most vulnerable hurts. As we recognize our wounding and the way that it impacts our lives, we discover the origins of the wound and begin to dismantle it. The unravelling of the wound allows more of our spiritual wholeness to shine forth in our lives! By embracing our humanity, we embody our spiritual essence.

On the other hand, if we nurse our wounds without embarking on healing, we simply accumulate more wounding. Eventually, each of us will clear the hurts and blames that we carry. It is not that our upsets are unjustified; it is simply that dwelling on them is not useful. As we stop engaging with the pain and begin to embrace our creative expressions, strangely, we glean a greater understanding of the role that the pain has played in the development of our strength, compassion, and wisdom.

We have all experienced wounds and we have all felt cornered by people and/or circumstances. The good news, though, is that it is within us to release the hurts that limitations that we fear we cannot address. Additionally, BPI provides a community of people who understand the healing journey, and can offer support along the way.

Healing sparks the alchemical transformation of wounding into grace.

Written by Heidi Szycher, a staff member at the Boulder Psychic Institute. Check out her personal site at

Emotions & Self-Care


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