Over the Winter, I was in an interpersonal situation that was pretty much leveling me; luckily, I managed to pick up a few nuggets of wisdom throughout my little sh*t-storm that I believe are worth sharing.

In hindsight, it’s easy to see some of my missteps. I chose to react to drama in unproductive ways. I wasn’t so hot at setting boundaries. Judgment became my new best friend. I slipped into a fear and control mindset. I was hard on my body because I couldn’t sleep, was maybe drinking a wee bit too much, and was isolated from my life. And I’m not even mentioning the handfuls of gummy bears…

I was pretty stuck in a victim mindset. “They did X to me. I’m upset because of Y. I can’t believe Z happened.” These thought patterns are rough mentally, emotionally, and physically—it’s hard work blaming others for your own emotions! Lol ….(sardonic laugh).

Fortunately, I found resolution and began anew with this person. However, I caught myself thinking, “I need them to rebuild my trust.” It didn’t take me long to realize that all I can control is myself. I needed to make up with ME. Yes—even if things happened that were totally lame and not always my fault. 

This got me thinking—if I was trying to make up with someone, what would I do? Can I flip that around and apply it to myself? 

The mindset of bringing the responsibility back to myself has given me a new, and dare I say, fun, challenge to consider. I can be a bit of a people pleaser in wolf’s clothing, so putting myself first feels new to me.

What makes me feel loved and taken care of that I can do for myself? What entertains me? What makes me laugh? What makes me enthusiastic? (So far, the answer has been yoga and using all of my spending money to buy fancy AF Japanese chef knives. But that’s my self-care—you’ll need to find your own gifts to woo yourself with).

I want to show myself that I can stay in a curious/learners mindset if I encounter a rough patch again and give myself the space, time, and attention I need to choose my next steps and heal without getting totally dysregulated. 

I want to show myself I can bring people and situations into my life that are fun, easy, and inspiring and have the courage to step away from the ones that are not a vibrational match with me (which meannnnns I better be in a high vibe myself in order to bring those relationships into my life!) 

This is what empowerment means to me. I create and maintain my relationships with love, intention, and pride—beginning with myself. 

I still get gummy bears tho. 

Pro Tip: Don’t wait until you’re in a crisis to practice self-care. What can you do today to nurture your relationship with yourself? 

Blog written by Three Brodsky (aka King Three), a Boulder Psychic Institute student and staff member. Three handles social planning, marketing, student support and is the BPI Love & Relationship Psychic. three@boulderpsychicinstitute.org