As a psychic and an overall non-conformist (I’m married with kids, queer, and polyamorous), I’ve been working towards deconstructing what I know about love and separating it from how I structure a relationship.
After years of being in non-traditional relationships I’ve observed that successful unions tend to happen when all parties know what they need and want in the relationship and don’t just assume love will take care of the details.
If we acknowledged love as a unique and sacred entity that is infinite and treated the other parts of a relationship as something chosen off of an a-la-carte menu—we might be able to custom-build something new and beautiful with another human—no more assumptions or unquestioned expectations.
Sex, commitment, friendship, monogamy, parenthood, homeownership—add these to your relationship if you want, and treat each item as its own project.
When you peel away the “shoulds” and fears associated with love, the judgments on friends, partners, yourself, and the relationships themselves tend to melt away.
Ponder these prompts to help you define your unique love and relationship style.
I love to love people.
ANNNND, I’ve been guilty, more than one or a dozen times, of forcing meaning and contingencies onto my love and thus becoming totally fried when my version of love wasn’t returned to me the way I imagined. Over numerous relationships, the highs have been high, and the lows have been low due to my attachments around love and how it affects my sense of identity. I like to think I’ve put that practice behind me now.
I’m an optimist; I like to think that we can pull off more love and less isolation as a species. We might have less heartbreak if love can have more space and permission to just be itself and nothing else.
Blog written by Three Brodsky (aka King Three), a Boulder Psychic Institute student and staff member. Three handles social planning, marketing, student support, and is the BPI Love & Relationship Psychic. firstname.lastname@example.org
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