Dear Love Psychic: Can My Love Save Him?

Dear Love Psychic:

I met a Dude at a concert back at the beginning of September. He was cute, but I didn’t realize how young he was until we started texting. He lives 7 hours away from me, so our relationship’s development has been mainly through text and several phone calls. We have yet to see each other again. He was so persistent and dogged in his pursuit of me and said all the things I’ve ever wanted to hear, so I finally got worn down and gave in, totally opened my heart to him, and fell in love hard.

Then he needed help with money for a car (so he said), and after great deliberation and a talk about paying me back, I decided to take a risk and help him—to choose love. Then he ghosted me, I realized he conned me, and I totally freaked out. Then I came to and realized his presence in my life was a gift because even if it was all lies, it opened my heart, and I was able to experience my own love and share it. I know that my love is mine, and nobody can take it from me.

I also realized that I still love this Dude and want to help him have an awakening and get on a better path in life. I started reaching out to him, and we ended up reconnecting. He said he would pay me back, and we were making plans to meet halfway for a day hike soon. I have this nagging feeling that he accidentally caught feelings for me, but maybe that is wishful thinking on my part. I think he is most likely beyond my help because when I started going deep and talking about love and how I felt when he ghosted me, he went dark again. 

I definitely don’t want to date this Dude, but I care about him, have love for him, and feel that he has potential. If he could know what true love is and open his heart, he could get on a better path in life and do great things. I also wish he would send my money back to me. So that’s where I’m at – it’s been a wild ride!

Thanks for listening.

Dear Love Warrior: 

I say “warrior” because you headed straight into love with no fear and total bravery—and I respect that. Finding love is the whole damn point of all of this (picture me gesturing to everything in the cosmos). You, Dear Lady, are a lover. For sure. 

What I will say is that in addition to diving headfirst into love (which always gets my stamp of approval btw), you ALSO headed straight into a relationship with no map or compass. Thaaaaattttssss a lil different. 

Love is its own thing—relationships are a different thing. One does not necessarily equal the other. 

Unconditional love is a beautiful and powerful vibration that is within each of us. To love someone (including yourself) is to see and accept them exactly as they are. Love gives people space to be who they are and allows people to do what is best for themselves. When you are in this vibe, all kinds of cool shit happens within and around you. 

But here’s the catch—we don’t GIVE love away. Nobody owns love or has the power to take it away. (I do think when we’re vibing high on love, other people can temporarily match our vibe, but that’s different from one person giving it out like a precious gift all wrapped up in their own intentions). We HOLD our view of someone through the lens of love. That’s it—no more, no less. 

A Relationship is a project between two entities (in this case, people). Relationships exist within parameters and need agreements, boundaries, and maintenance to keep the project working and thriving. 

Granted, the parameters can be loosey-goosey or super stitched up. People can have flexible dynamics and see each other when it’s fun and easy. OR people can agree to try and spend the rest of their lives together and have contracts and boundaries around all sorts of things. #marriage

It’s up to each of us to consciously create the framework of our relationships. This takes practice. There’s a lot of misconceptions around love and relationships and what each should grant us. Unconditional love equals freedom. Relationships (done well) often equal safety—so no wonder the two don’t always play well together. 

The good news is that you already know that you can leave a relationship and that there is a learning experience in the whole deal for you. Leaving a relationship doesn’t mean you’ve failed or given up on love itself (or the other person, for that matter). It means that you’re protecting the life you want to create. 

I’m also seeing you holding a devilish fascination with the idea that love is so powerful it can literally change and fix anything. It’s like you’re staring into this orb of light you’ve found, and you’re wondering what you can do with it to OTHERS. Yes, love can facilitate healing and do amazing things to YOU, the experiencer—but it’s not a tool to use to get a desired outcome (like to try and save or fix someone).

Can you love Dude and not have a relationship with him until the two of you negotiate relationship parameters that you both like and agree to consciously? (Note that I say “the two of you”—he gets to help co-create this relationship too).

Your cosmic dance with Dude: You and Dude have so much karma together I can’t count that high. You have A LOT of outdated agreements going on from past lives you’ve shared. You were always female, he’s always male, and he’s always younger than you. Over and over again, you two are playing out the dynamic of you trying to save or redeem him. Breaking karma and clearing old agreements with someone on a soul level does not necessarily mean you never speak to them again. It means you start over as you both are today—without the energy of some other lifetime interfering with your dynamic.

P.S. If you wanna learn how to do this, come take a class at the BPI.

Do you want to continue to go along with the unspoken agreements that are playing out in your relationship with Dude?

Here are the agreements that are currently at play:

How do these agreements vibe with what you want for your life? Do you want to create a relationship or have it create you? Love isn’t the engine that shapes a healthy relationship—mutually agreed-upon standards and maintenance fuel a healthy relationship.

Now that you have more awareness around how much of your energy is being funneled into wanting to fix Dude—perhaps Dear Love Warrior, you’re being a wee bit judgemental? Does he deserve the dignity to make the changes he wants to make in his life himself? I know your intentions are loving, but you’re also unconsciously sending him the message that he’s not good enough for you as he is right now. (which is totally fair considering how he treated you, but do you want to be with someone you view as broken and in need of being fixed? Is that fair for anyone?)

In terms of a next step for you, I see you building a wall of chocolate around yourself. Yipee! You will experience a lot more healing and love when you can focus on your relationship with yourself. What kind of agreements do you need to make with others in order to maintain your own luscious relationship space? And, can you keep those agreements sacred?

I hope this helps, and take care 🙂

______

Blog written by Three Brodsky (aka King Three). Three is the BPI Love & Relationship Psychic. She has a unique perspective as a psychic and as someone who’s married with two kids, a member of the Queer community, and polyamorous. Finding new ways to create space for more love, community, and connection is her passion. 

Submit your question to: three@boulderpsychicinstitute.org 

“Is a psychic reading just as good over the phone as in person?!”

…We get this question a lot.

Our answer is an enthusiastic YES! And maybe even better.

The Boulder Psychic Institute is a clairvoyant school, which means we’re learning and practicing using our sixth chakra (or third eye) to “see” energy. 

When we’re looking at you as psychics, we’re looking at your energy and how it’s affecting you. We’re seeing into the questions or issues you bring to us in order to illuminate what’s going on at the core. Clairvoyance literally means to see with clarity. 

Often people think that there will be a “more powerful connection” if we’re in the same room with you because we will feel into you psychically. This isn’t how it works—we see into you.

There are numerous benefits of doing readings, healings, or classes over the phone.

Psychics can get into a clairvoyant space easier and see clearer when we shut down our other senses. There’s the old saying, “When you shut down one sense, another opens.” In addition to closing our eyes over the phone, we’re also free of all the social distractions of an in-person (or video) encounter. Over the phone, there’s no smiling, eye contact, shaking hands, body odor, body language, and no need to worry about appearances. This all contributes to the reader feeling more at ease and better able to sink into a deep clairvoyant state—which means a better reading for you!

We can help more people. “No time, no space” is a phrase we use to describe energy at the Beep. It means we can tap into the energy of anyone anywhere, dead or alive, tall or short, old or young, and in any location! We even give remote sessions where the reading/healing is performed on a spirit-to-spirit level (which means you don’t even have to be on the call whatsoever).

By offering classes over the phone, anyone can take our courses and experience the Beep no matter where you live. And not to brag, BUT we’re kind of a big deal, and we are pretty proud of our curriculum and instructors, so naturally, we want to be accessible to as many people as possible.

You’re being seen purely as a soul. Meeting over the phone means that we don’t see your body and aren’t affected by your physical appearance—which cuts down on unconscious bias. We’re looking right at YOU, not your age, height, weight, ethnicity, gender, orientation, or fashion choices. (Thank goodness, because who even owns hard pants these days)?!

For our students, friendships formed in our community are interesting and intimate because of the connection that happens when we’re experiencing each other on a purely spiritual level. It’s pretty cool to be able to see and be seen by someone when all you really know about them is the sound of their voice and their soul vibe (but still—we don’t even know if our classmates have cool hair or not). 

So the great news is that all you need is a phone to get a profound reading, healing, or spiritual education.

Hope to “see” you soon.

…We get this question a lot.

Our answer is an enthusiastic YES! And maybe even better.

The Boulder Psychic Institute is a clairvoyant school, which means we’re learning and practicing using our sixth chakra (or third eye) to “see” energy. 

When we’re looking at you as psychics, we’re looking at your energy and how it’s affecting you. We’re seeing into the questions or issues you bring to us in order to illuminate what’s going on at the core. Clairvoyance literally means to see with clarity. 

Often people think that there will be a “more powerful connection” if we’re in the same room with you because we will feel into you psychically. This isn’t how it works—we see into you.

There are numerous benefits of doing readings, healings, or classes over the phone.

Psychics can get into a clairvoyant space easier and see clearer when we shut down our other senses. There’s the old saying, “When you shut down one sense, another opens.” In addition to closing our eyes over the phone, we’re also free of all the social distractions of an in-person (or video) encounter. Over the phone, there’s no smiling, eye contact, shaking hands, body odor, body language, and no need to worry about appearances. This all contributes to the reader feeling more at ease and better able to sink into a deep clairvoyant state—which means a better reading for you!

We can help more people. “No time, no space” is a phrase we use to describe energy at the Beep. It means we can tap into the energy of anyone anywhere, dead or alive, tall or short, old or young, and in any location! We even give remote sessions where the reading/healing is performed on a spirit-to-spirit level (which means you don’t even have to be on the call whatsoever).

By offering classes over the phone, anyone can take our courses and experience the Beep no matter where you live. And not to brag, BUT we’re kind of a big deal, and we are pretty proud of our curriculum and instructors, so naturally, we want to be accessible to as many people as possible.

You’re being seen purely as a soul. Meeting over the phone means that we don’t see your body and aren’t affected by your physical appearance—which cuts down on unconscious bias. We’re looking right at YOU, not your age, height, weight, ethnicity, gender, orientation, or fashion choices. (Thank goodness, because who even owns hard pants these days)?!

For our students, friendships formed in our community are interesting and intimate because of the connection that happens when we’re experiencing each other on a purely spiritual level. It’s pretty cool to be able to see and be seen by someone when all you really know about them is the sound of their voice and their soul vibe (but still—we don’t even know if our classmates have cool hair or not). 

So the great news is that all you need is a phone to get a profound reading, healing, or spiritual education.

Hope to “see” you soon.

______

Blog post written by Three Brodsky (aka King Three)—a student and staff member at the BPI.

Creating A Healing Container, Part Three

Because I’m still recovering from my savior complex, I kinda always have to be on the lookout for when I’m sliding back into old patterns. I want people in my life, and I want our interactions to be mostly positive, fun, and uplifting. It’s up to me to set the terms of my relationships and not let myself get burned out because I’m being a compulsive healer again. (Y’know, when you are always helping people, even at the expense of your own well-being).

Since I’ve been exploring this topic, I now do my best to create a defined healing container in my psychic work and my interactions outside of work. 

Healing containers can be an actual physical space, or they can be a temporary mindset that you consciously step in and out of. If you find yourself giving emotional support, even when you don’t want to, here are some key elements to establishing a defined healing space for yourself. 

Protect your physical space. If you’re operating out of an actual office or room, make sure you take steps to set that space apart from the rest of the house or workplace. At the BPI, we have methods to ensure a space feels grounded and contained so outside energy isn’t crowding in. This way, if you don’t have a separate office to work in, you can still make it separate energetically. We recommend setting an intention for a room/space and cleaning it out energetically regularly. How do you maintain the sanctity of your healing space?

Be aware of your non-physical space. Healing containers can often be a mode or mindset vs. an actual room. A conversation, a shared meal, or an outing with a friend can sometimes slip into an impromptu healing session. The key in these types of situations is to consciously decide that you are, or are not, going to engage in helping someone by listening or offering support. If you are going to engage, then make a note of that in your mind— “I am now in healing/helping mode.” This way, you are conscious of what you are doing—meaning you can also be mindful of when you want to step out of healing/helping mode.

Clearly define a beginning and an end to the type of support you are offering. If you have decided that you would like to help someone out, create a time limit for the support. The healing/helping work needs a clear beginning and end. 

This can look like saying out loud to a family member, who may be unconsciously dumping a problem on you, “I’d love to listen and offer support around your breakup—can we agree on talking for an hour then switching gears?” or “I can take you out for coffee tomorrow and be a sounding board for your work situation then.”

Decide the size of the container. Maybe you only have a few moments to offer support to someone, and that’s ok! You can offer a prayer or some good vibes to a person you know you can’t do anything more for. If you pass an accident or a homeless person, send them some healing energy. I love asking for happy vibes from my peers at the BPI if I’m having a lame day—it’s easy and takes seconds on their part. 

Get consent. I mentioned this in a previous article, but it’s worth noting that consent goes both ways. Have you asked a person IF they would like your help, AND have you consented to giving support? Do you have people in your life who start processing drama with you with little or no awareness that they’re doing it? Unfortunately (or fortunately), setting a boundary is up to you when that is happening.

My husband and I have a system of asking if we can talk about a difficult situation before actually launching into it. Doing this makes the person with the drama conscious that they are A. requesting support and B. aware of how often they’re asking for it. This method allows the receiver to consent to being a listening ear or opting out by saying, “I’m not available for this right now—we talked about your deal at breakfast, and I’d like dinner to be relaxing for everyone.”

Decide who comes into your healing space and who doesn’t. If people are getting into your healing space all willy nilly, then it’s time to step back from being a healer or helper of any type until you can define some boundaries. No more losing an entire Saturday because you somehow got looped into helping a friend who’s in crisis mode again. (You could be in a karmic loop with someone and are playing out old patterns from seven lifetimes ago… but that’s another blog post altogether). 

When I don’t make agreements around emotional support with friends and family, I end up avoiding some relationships altogether instead of owning up to my part in changing a dynamic. Having consciousness around when I’m in healing mode, and when I’m not, helps me keep my relationships energetically clean and clear. The support I offer is more genuine and effective; if I’m helping or healing someone—it’s cuz I mean it.

To conclude my little Three-for-three mini-series I’ll leave you with the main takeaways:

  1. Know why you’re healing people—is it actually because you need to heal yourself through healing them?
  1. Be aware of when you’re healing people. Are you conscious of how often you’re in this role?
  1. Make sure the help you’re offering is consensual. Are you consenting to being the supporter in a dynamic, and have you asked the person if they would like your help.
  1. Create a container for your healing work—consciously step into that space and have a clear beginning and end to what you are offering. 
  1. Be a healthy healer and be sure to take the time to replenish yourself often. 

Cheers!

———

Blog post written by Three Brodsky (aka King Three) a student and staff member at the BPI. 

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